La Douleur Exquise
by Unlaced Rose
Summary: Blaise thought He and Draco were happy, but now Ginny's back and life's spnning out of control again. Alot less cheesey than it sounds, high amounts of Angst, Drama and things not suitable for the young. D/G/B.
1. Their Denouement

"I told you. I always said he'd leave us!" Ginevra's voice is shaking as she speaks to the man holding her from behind, "He doesn't love us enough, he can't". The green silk dress she's wearing is moving in the wind from the open door in the entrance hall, her red hair swirling around her like a tornado.

"That's not true Ginevra. I love you and Drae. Possibly too much. I'll only be gone a day. Two at most. It won't be long and I will come back. I always do." I'm pleading by now, begging her to understand.

"You always say that! One day, One week, but it's always longer! Always! Is this just a game to you? Don't we mean more than that?" She's not listening to me, she rarely does. From where I am standing I can see her crumple as she whispers the last line.

"Come on ma coeur; let's leave him to go gallivanting off for a few weeks. He's not important."

"But he is! We need him!" she's insistent. Her voice reaching hysteria. "We can't do this without him."

Draco's arm is wrapped around her waist. His body is pressing against hers from behind, his head against her neck, not looking at me, his face blank and devoid of emotion. His left arm is parallel to hers, holding onto her outstretched wrist. The wrist attached to the hand, the hand that holds the beautiful muggle weapon he'd bought her weeks before that is pointing at my head. The conversation we'd had when he'd shown me the gift played through my mind.

* * *

"What harm can it do? They're just stupid muggles, and it looks good in her collection," he was nonchalant. Passive. He'd been giving her gifts like this for years, and her collection was impressive and worth a small fortune, but it concerned Blaise that Gin had something in her possession that was fatal, despite Draco's assurances that anything she did with it could be fixed.

"Her collection of pretty things that kill?!"

"Interesting antiques that have a dangerous quality, wizarding or otherwise," he replied.

"So yeah, pretty things that kill."

* * *

I shake my head. He never listened to me either. "Gin, drop it! Please. Please?" I'm beyond pleading now. She's reaching a state where I'm not sure what can happen.

"No! No no no no! You lied! You promised! Liar!" Draco's grip on her tightening as she struggles against him. Her outreached arm, still aimed at me, is shaking. Her voice breaks. Tears stream down her face. Her arm begins to drop. Drae's grip on her loosens. Time seems to slow down. I watch as she flicks her wrist ever so slightly. As she presses her finger down onto the trigger slightly harder then she had before. I watch as the distraught face she'd had before turns into an apologetic "forgive me" expression. I hear the noise from the gun as the bullet is released. I watch them rebound from the impact. And then time seems to speed up, twice its normal pace as if trying to catch up. I watch as Draco pulls her arm around. Shock apparent on both their faces. There's a pain in my shoulder. I can feel the warm blood trickling down my front and seeping onto my shirt.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't. What have I done Drae? Help. Oh Circe help." She is whispering franticly to Draco who's encased her in his arms. Their foreheads pressed together in an embrace so familiar to them. One I had witnessed so often in the last few months. He's pressing his lips to her face, alternating between kissing her and whispering things I can't quite hear. Both their eyes close simultaneously and a look of relief crosses their faces. Two more shots go off and I watch as my two lovers sink to the floor. Both finally at peace. Then all goes black.

* * *

The first thing I notice is the antagonising pain in my right shoulder. The second is a faint bleeping sound that's too familiar to me; even seen from someone else's memories, to make me want to open my eyes. And the third is the presence of people sitting around me. Sitting very still but moving just enough for me to hear them moving slightly. Their breath inhaling and exhaling from their lungs. One of them speaks.

"When did Poppy say he'd wake?" Hushed tones. Sombre tones.

"Soon Severus, soon. The potion should be wearing off right about now." I recognise this voice. Albus Dumbledore is speaking to Severus Snape. They must be talking about me. It takes me a moment to wonder why they're sitting around my bed waiting for me to wake up. And what was this pain in my right shoulder? I decide to open my eyes. Just a crack at first. Too see what's happening.

I let a small sliver of light rush in through my lashes. White. White everywhere, huge windows behind me lets in an enormous amount of light that bathes the entire room with a glow making it hard to look at anything due to everything being made from white materials. Clinical. That's what it looks like. Dumbledore and Snape are sitting in two metal chairs at the foot of my bed. There's movement behind them and to my left. I open my eyes a little more to see what else is happening.

"Ah Mr Zabini, you're awake. How are you feeling?" Something's wrong. I can finally see I'm in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. At least it's not where I feared I was. But Dumbledore's face is more solemn then I've ever seen it. Not that I've known him that long but he always seemed cheerful, his blue eyes aren't sparkling, his mouth in a thin line dissecting his face into two. "A great tragedy has happened last night, what can you remember of it? Tell me to stop if you need a moment."

"Tragedy?" my mind can't comprehend what he's saying, "what's happened?" I open my eyes fully and try to sit up; the pain is overwhelming so I fall back against the thin pillows on the bed. I caught a glimpse though, of the people in the rest of the room. A lot of them with red hair. A red that I know will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. And it comes flooding back to me. The Meal. The Letter. The Screams. The Gun.

A sound emits from my lips that I can't describe. I hadn't known it was possible for a human to make such an excruciating noise until it burst its way out of me. A sound of terror and sorrow and loss. A sound of deepest regret and love. A sound of heartbreak.

Madame Pompfrey rushes to my side. Everyone looks at me. I don't care. They're gone. Gone. I can't process it. The thought seems foreign, and not so at the same time. I think I knew this would happen eventually. I just thought they'd take me with them. I look down to the wound in my shoulder. I guess she tried. I guess I failed, my soul too firmly secure in life to even contemplate slipping into death. I start to laugh. I'd only known them seven months. Eight if you count the time with Draco without Ginny, but that doesn't seem to count properly in my mind, the idea of one without the other seems wrong now.

"Mr Zabini, if it's possible, I'd like to know how this happened." Dumbledore asks again.

"I think you know, you were there, you saw it. She shot me, then herself and Draco."

"I meant how everything happened. Start at the beginning, we'll take things slowly." He's encouraging, and everyone's listening now, curious to what actually happened. Unsure of why it happened. But none of them had the front row seat to Draco and Ginny's demise as I did. I don't know if I want to tell him everything but I think it over and I suppose they have a right to know. And if they know then other people will know eventually. And people have to know. This can't happen again. I can't stand the thought of other people being trapped in the same self destructive path they were.

"Okay," I start and take a deep breath, "I'll tell you."

* * *

**A/N After several months (almost a year) of writers block and several huge life changing events I decided I had to stop focusing on a particular story and just write. And this is what came out, as you may be able to tell it's very different to my other stories, this one has a lot less fluff than my other ones (not that they were particually fluffy to begin with) and I think my writing's slightly different too. I do hope to return to Blood, Ink and Champagne soon as I loved the storyline I had planned I think I just have to wait for my life to get slightly lighter before I can go back to it.  
**

**You may also be able to tell that this is AU. It's so incredibly AU it's untrue (though not as much as some fics I've read based around these 3- eg. Unexpected) and the Characters are all OOC for the most part.**

**I have the next chapter mostly written already and so I hope to post that soon and then there's only 1-2 other parts after that. (If anyone's interested in beta-ing, PM me)  
**

**For people who are interested:**

**-This story was inspired by the music of Emilie Autumn (mostly the Opheliac album) which might explain some of the event that happen. If you haven't heard of her go listen! **.fm/music/Emilie+Autumn  
**-The name La Douleur Exquise means The Exquisite Pain which seemed aptly fitting.  
-And I have already done some artwork for this fic, the link to my dA can be found on my profile.**

**Thank-you for reading and please review! (I need to know what you think! Other wise I'll think it's terrible and not write the rest.)**

**Love Always and if you've managed to make it this far, cookies for you!**

**Unlaced xxxx  
**


	2. How Simply Things Begin

It was a pretty normal morning in Blaise Zabini's new life. He'd transferred from the Buenos Aires School of Sorcery in Argentina to Hogwarts over the summer, and been sorted into Slytherin. They were close knit and he liked that, _"don't trust anyone except yourself, and only then under extreme circumstances"_ was his philosophy. There were wars happening at home and this was one of his reasons for transferring to this cold-climate school, his mother had feared for his safety after his father had been killed in a raid on their home.

Another reason was that he wanted to improve his English so he could work over in England and elsewhere in the world but his English hadn't been all that bad to begin with and so, it was mainly his mothers insistence that he go that drove him to leave his beloved family and friends for this draughty castle in the middle of Scotland. He'd been here just over a month now and was settling in pretty well. He'd made new friends, found he hadn't been behind on any of the N.E.W.T work that they were doing and he'd found himself with a boyfriend, which surprised him greatly seeing as he didn't really think he'd swung that way. After four weeks of "dating" he properly moved into Draco's private room as it was easier than running from Draco's room back to his own in the Slytherin dungeons in the morning when he'd forgotten to bring a spare change of underwear, Draco's being to small for him.

He wasn't sure quite why Draco had his own room but was pretty sure it was because his father had money and made several large "donations" to the school. Draco's private room was luxurious to say the least; it consisted of a small entrance hall coming off from the portrait you entered through that linked to two doors at the end at angles to one another. One linked to the bedroom with a huge four poster bed and a small balcony that looked over the lake, and off that room, the bathroom. Through the other door was a small lounge area with a large sofa and arm chairs, a low coffee table that always held a bowl of pomegranates (he hadn't gotten around to asking Draco about these yet) and several floor cushions. From this room there were two other doors that Draco always kept locked, when questioned he always replied that he had no use for them.

The entire place was decorated by large paintings on the walls all of a similar macabre feel. He asked Draco who did them as all were signed by the same mark, a red oval shape in the bottom left corner with a black lotus flower in the centre. Draco had simply replied, "Ginny", and then walked off. He'd managed to infer from the other Slytherin's that it was best not to ask Draco about Ginny. A girl named Daphne however, had said that Ginny and Draco had been together for years, engaged and everything, but their relationship had been terrible, after four years they'd had this huge fight on the last day of term the previous year and that Ginny had left the school and rumour was that she'd transferred to Beauxbatons in France and that the two hadn't spoken since. He'd heard nothing more of this Ginny girl, no idea what she looked like as Draco never kept any photographs around, he was aware however that part of Draco's wardrobe was still sectioned off and suspected that Ginny's clothes and belongings that she hadn't taken with her resided there.

Blaise had been sitting in his now usual place at the Slytherin table next to Draco, eating raspberry jam covered toast, talking to Daphne about the latest Herbology homework Professor Sprout had given. Suddenly Draco's head snapped up towards the entrance of the Great Hall where his gaze remained fixed. Blaise glanced over to where Draco was looking and saw a tall boy with red hair, who he knew to be named Ron Weasley and in Gryffindor (apparently that alone meant heshould hate him) with a slightly smaller girl with equally red hair. Ron was gripping the arm of the girl fiercely, as if she might run away from him at any second. The girl looked very frail and much too thin with dark circles under her eyes. He saw Draco swallow hard and a blank look came over his face. "Fuck" he heard Daphne say under her breath along with several other Slytherin's. The tall girl looked up and scanned the room quickly. Her eyes rested on the Slytherin table and Draco. She pinched her brother on the arm and as he lost his grip on her momentarily she slipped away from him and walked briskly over to where Draco was seated. Only he wasn't seated anymore. When he'd seen the girl, he had stood up, arms crossed with the blank look still on his face. She herself had a similar blank look on her face. When she reached the table she moved into the space between Draco and Blaise and turned around to sit on the table, one heel resting on the floor, the other foot on the bench just next to Blaise's right thigh. She gave Blaise a look up and down and then said in a slightly amused voice,

"So this is the person you've replaced me with? Didn't take you long… never does though."

"Gin," Draco's voice was flat and slightly strained, "I didn't replace you, you're irreplaceable and why would I want to anyway, you were annoying as fuck." Blaise had never heard Draco use that tone of voice before and wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He now knew the tall red headed girl to be Draco's infamous ex-girlfriend Ginny. She didn't look like he'd expected her to. There was no viciousness or spite that seemed to come with ex-girlfriend territory, and after the way they'd broken up it didn't seem like they'd remain friends afterwards.

"If I remember correctly D, you were just as annoying as I was." For some reason the way she used her nickname for Draco as if they were still on intimate terms annoyed Blaise,

"How's Hogwarts been without me?"

"Normal, for once. What are you doing here anyway? Thought you'd transferred, or are you just here to get the rest of your stuff?" Draco was practically spitting out his words now. As if he was desperate to get her away from him.

"Transferred?" a confused look crossed her face for a moment, ruining her mask of perfect indifference,

"Where do you think I've been all this time Drae?"

"Beauxbatons, that's what I was told anyway."

"Beauxbatons! It's been the summer Draco! And do you really think I'd look like this if I'd been in the south of France for four months?" she gestured to her face and the dark circles under her eyes.

She was right though, after four months in the south of France anyone would relax enough to sleep well at night. "Or what about these?" she shoved her wrists in front of Draco and large red welts became visible around her wrists as well as a blackness at the base of her nails that looked like they'd been burnt.

Draco swallowed again, "Gin…I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't D! But you promised, you promised I wouldn't have to go back there." She was gripping the front of his robes now; he looked down at her, his eyes showing the battle his mind was fighting. Blaise looked around at the rest of Slytherin, no one was looking at the two of them but no one was talking or doing anything else either. Confusion filled Blaise's mind, where had she been? Why would he promise to keep her away from there whatever that place was?

"Please don't let them take me back there, to them it's there or the tower and I can't do either," she was pleading with him, panic in her eyes that he wasn't listening to her.

"You promised me! Please D; you know what it's like." That seemed to do it for Draco.

"Fine Ginevra, but only until you get your own rooms sorted." The look of relief was clearly evident in Ginny's eyes as they both walked off towards the doors. Less than half way across the floor, Draco looked back and motioned to Blaise with his head that he should follow them. Blaise dropped the piece of toast that he was still holding in his hand, rubbed the raspberry jam that had stuck to his fingers over the leg of his jeans and hurried after them.

They walked in stony silence towards the portrait on the third floor which was the entrance to Draco's rooms. Blaise noticed how Ginny was shivering slightly and how Draco walked with one hand resting lightly in the small of her back with her body turned ever so slightly towards him. He wondered whether they even knew what they were doing or if it was just instinctual, a habit they'd picked up after being together for so long. Draco noticed Blaise looking uncomfortable and took his hand, kissing his knuckles lightly before walking hand in hand with him the rest of the way. The portrait swung open and they entered.

Draco moved through to the bedroom and went to the closet where he pulled out two pillows and a blanket.

"What's this for?" Ginny had followed Draco to the bedroom where he handed her what he had removed from the closet.

"You, to sleep on the couch. Where did you think you'd be sleeping?" Draco was still refusing to let down his guard. His every word measured and restrained, as if it physically hurt him to speak.

"I refuse to sleep on the couch in my own rooms Draco! This place is mine just as much as it is yours!"

"You left." Draco threw back. They were staring each other down now and Blaise realised for the first time just how tall she was. She was just below eye level with Draco, and Draco was tall for a male making Ginevra around Blaise's height.

"Not by choice." Draco faltered at this sentence before he seemed to strengthen his resolve again.

"Fine! I get it, you're angry, I am to! But please, please just accept this. I was fine yesterday, don't ruin it for me!" Blaise had never heard Draco plead with anyone before, not even when they were alone and they were in bed.

"Fine. I'll get onto Dumbledore tomorrow. He should understand. Good luck with getting your life back on track Drae."

She moved to the living area and dropped her bag before exiting the place entirely in a swish of red hair, leaving Draco and Blaise alone for the first time since Ginny had come back. Blaise could already tell that everything had shifted.

* * *

**I know, I know, someone needs to shoot me for not uploading this sooner, but I've done it! **

**As you can probably tell, this is very AU (if you didn't get that last time I'm sure you do now) **

**The basics are: **

**- Ginny and Draco don't use their own house common rooms, although they are still in their original Canon houses. **

**- Blaise is the wonderful transfer student from Argentina. (Forget any reference to him in the first book!)**

**- I'm not really working the trio into this story and I actually have no idea where the war stands, you never know it might come into play in the later chapters... maybe not though).**

**If you're still reading then congratulations to you! But please please tell me what you think of it, even if you absolutely hate it, I want to know!**

**Love Always**

**Unlaced xxx  
**


	3. Interlude

I look over to where Dumbledore is sitting. The old man's looking at me with a strange look in his eye.

"Ginevra never came to see me about changing rooms."

"I expected as much," I say, "she didn't leave as far as I could tell, she spent her spare time in there with us mostly, even if she was mostly refusing to speak to Draco and never to me, not at the beginning. I have no idea where she did sleep though."

I notice that the two families in the room are all listening in to what I'm saying. I guess none of them really knew what had happened between Ginny, Drae and I. No one in the school really knew either. Hell, even I didn't know everything about the two of them. I always felt like they were so far ahead of me that if they went too fast I'd lose sight of them and they'd wait patiently for me to catch up a tiny bit before setting off again. Even towards the end I felt like it was them and me and that was just something that couldn't be helped. I'm pulled from my reverie by Dumbledore's next sentence.

"So you've told us about that very memorable day when she came into your life. But, pray tell me, how the three of you come to be in a relationship if she wasn't speaking to you?"

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I can understand his reasoning for wanting to know but I was unsure if on hearing what actually happened, he'd be happy with the reply. It's not like it was a light and happy romance. There was no "boy meets girl, fall in love, happily ever after" in this story, however something in me is saying that it has to be told, people have to understand.

"I knew pretty much instantly when they started…" I search to find the right words, "sleeping together again. If that's what you could call what they were doing." I look up and restate, "are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Yes, Mr Zabini, however intimate the subject, it needs to be said. You can gloss over the details to spare them the humiliation if you feel the need to." The old man's voice is clam but pressing, I guess he too realises that not everyone in the room wants to hear this but that the basic details need to be told in the very least. I can't help but manage a small internal laugh at the last part.

"Drae and Gin didn't feel humiliation, at least not about other people. Sometimes I wondered if they even knew other people existed. I caught them fucking around the castle often enough." This elicits a gasp from somewhere to my left, I think it's one of their mothers, maybe both.

"Mr Zabini, I know this is hard for you, but could you please consider everyone else in the room and the vulgarity of your language?"

"Fine, they were both either too much of an exhibitionist to feel humiliation or lacked the notion of other people caring about what they did, as often proved by their public displays of "affection". How was that?"

A slight smile has come to the headmasters face and I contemplate the old man's sanity as much as I did that of my beloveds. "Much better, please continue."

* * *

**I know, I know! It's been far too long! For which I sincerely apologise. It's been rough these last few months but I'm back, hoping to update everything finally. I can't promise updates soon but I can promise I will finish each and every one. If anyone's even still reading this, have a pumpkin cupcake!**

**Love Always.**

**Eva x**


	4. It's Happening Again

Blaise didn't see much of her for the first few weeks, only in the Great Hall at meal times, where she sat at Gryffindor table surrounded by people with her back firmly towards them. The change in her in such a short amount of time was remarkable. Though to tell the truth the majority of it had happened within the first two days. Before she had looked manic, half crazed and much too thin. Now she cool, calm and collected. Pale skin unblemished entirely apart from the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Full lips that were permanently set in a crooked half smile, like she was listening to words no one else could hear. She was, to put it plainly, beautiful. Perfect even. Or at least acted like she was perfect. A smooth mask covering perfect flaws.

Blaise didn't like her. Not because she was beautiful (in truth she was exactly his type) but because every time she entered a room there was an imperceptible shift in tension. Like suddenly everyone subconsciously became hyperaware of their surroundings. He new it was subconscious because when he asked Pansy about it she just looked confused, glanced around her and said "Everything's exactly like normal Blaise, nothing strange is going on. You're probably imagining it because you're bored. Go bother Draco or something."

Then he realised. It wasn't that nothing was going on, just that they'd all gotten used to it. Over the years everyone had just adjusted to become acutely aware of what was going on. He hadn't figured out why yet, but there must have been a reason why everyone was suddenly so nervous in their presence. The new electricity affected Draco too. The blond was withdrawn, not with him but everyone else in public.

Blaise didn't like the change in the castle. It set him on edge. It was like being back home before the war started, people just sitting around waiting for the first explosion to happen.

* * *

It wasn't until it had been over a month since that morning in the Great Hall that it finally hit Blaise. How could he have been so obtuse? The shift in everyone else hadn't caused the change in Draco; Draco had caused the shift in everyone else. He'd been blind to it, not wanting to see what was right in front of his eyes. Subtle glances, the complete avoidance from her. That one brief moment last week where he'd gone back to their rooms between lessons and ran into her leaving, so quick she was just a flash of red. When he'd gone through to the sitting room Draco was just standing there, a slight flush to his alabaster cheek. What ever had happened before Blaise had come to Hogwarts was happening again. The smallest grasp he had on what had happened was enough to make him understand why everyone was uneasy around them. It hadn't ended well.

* * *

It only took Blaise two days to collect the courage to confront Draco about it. He calmly went to their rooms, his heart in his throat over what might happen but he'd never admit that to anyone. It had only been a few months but he'd already begun to think of the arrogant male as _his_. Let him in to himself and told him things Blaise had never said to anyone else. But he knew now that Draco was never really his to claim. A five week rebound fling _(he cringed inwardly at the words) _was nothing compared to a four year relationship. No matter how terribly it had ended. If what he suspected was happening was actually happening, then he would do what he had to as a man with honour and step back.

He pushed open the portrait that concealed the entrance and walked down the dark corridor that split at the end. He took a right into the sitting room but it was empty. He retraced his steps back into the corridor and took the other door, pushing it very slightly ajar. Like he already knew what he expected to find.

Draco and Ginny were kneeling on the bed. Their backs to him but he could see their faces in the mirror opposite. Draco kissing her neck, the strap of her top had slid down her shoulder leaving it bare. His hand was trailing up and down her arm; Blaise could see in the dim light the goose bumps he left behind. Her head was thrown back and she was biting softly on her bottom lip and quivering.

Blaise backed away and closed the door softly behind them. There was a time to question Draco about what was going on. But this was not it.

* * *

**AN/ Okay, okay. You can kill me now! I posted this tiny fragment to prove I wasn't dead! I actually haven't even thought of this fic for months, is that really bad of me? In truth my mind has been completely else where. I feel like I've had an entire personality shift. You never know, I might actually finish this one day. I want to, I hate leaving it abandoned. **

**In the mean time, I'm actually writing with another author! Which is where my focus is! **

**We're NinjaSpoons. Our Fic is called Spilled Ink, it's another Draco/Ginny! with a fair amount of Blaise in. Link is in my profile. We update ridiculously frequently and regularly! There's already 21 chapters and I can honestly say it's soo much better then my previous work! So go! go read! Please?**

**Love you all!**

**Eva **


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